It has been a while since I last wrote a post in-the-moment. Don’t worry, this isn’t going to be some confessional where I tell you about my greatest fears, or that one gay experience I had in college. I write the majority of my posts for the year during the snowboarding off-season, and during the winter months I simply “punch them up” before posting them. So there aren’t tons of spur of the moment posts, or ramblings. With this one, I plan to ramble on like a Kanye West album.
I figure I might as well, since I pulled a Honey Boo Boo and drank an energy drink around five PM today. To be clear, caffeine for me is like milk to a person with hypolactasia (or lactose intolerance, if you want to be laymen about it). I am more sensitive to caffeine than Rihanna is to facial impact.
Bad Fart Joke
So tonight I share a few of the things I wonder about at night, while my lovely fiancé sleeps soundly next to me softly farting away. Or is it my cat? I guess all pussy smells the same to me. I sincerely apologize to my fiance when she reads this.
Is the saying “we are all liberal when we’re young… then we start making money and come to our senses” regarding how people turn conservative as they age true? I find myself growing more conservative with time, and this worries me. I used to care about the good of society and advocate for it; now I am just concerned with lowering my taxes. I am oversimplifying things of course. I suppose I simply wish so bad to get ahead I am now beginning to view taxation from a very personal standpoint.
Just Do It
I have a friend who makes over $300,000 a year. I thought I would write the entire number out, so people can see how much it really is. He is 28 years out of the womb, and owns his $400,000 house in full—just paid it off. He owns his own landscaping company which he dropped out of college to start. He “just did it”, while most people think of “doing it”. I guess we should all be more aware of the tenses we apply to our lives.
Something that may surprise many is that I am a classical music listener. At work, it keeps me calm and sets a grander scale for things. Classical music aids me with my visualization, because it is interpretive and rooted in emotions. I like Mahler, Chopin, Stravinsky, Debussy, and in particular Wagner—I guess it’s the white male in me, but Wagner makes me want to invade other cubes.
Okay, no more rambling. You’ve been a trouper. Next post I promise, it will contain substance you can study. In the meantime, head over to the many great blogs below. Learn how to budget and be frugal, or something along those lines. They will all be free of feline fart jokes. Promise.
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 Top five greatest fears: 1) Tyler Perry, 2) Spiders, 3) Madea, 4) girls who can do bad all my themselves, 5) ghosts
 If you are taken back by that joke, loosen up. It isn’t every day I get to write a fart-queef-feline-semi sexist joke. Also, most of the people who dislike those types of jokes have watched movies like The Hangover with no issues; tell me, where are the strong female comics in those movies?